I want to know what 9 feels like

Most days I record my well-being score out of 10. There’s no science behind it, it’s just an off-the-top-of-my-head assessment of how I’m feeling that day. Typically, my score will be between 6 and 7.5. And that just about sums me up right there. Decent, stable mental health without ever being too high or too low.

I’ve nudged 8 before without every quite hitting it. I’m almost scared to write 8, it seems too high. Like I’m limiting my ability to grow further by giving myself an 8 too soon. They do it on Strictly too. They keep the marks low in the early weeks because you can’t possibly be an 8 in week 2 or week 3.  I guess if it came to it, you know if I started getting to 9 or 9.5, I could always amend my scale to go to 11.

What I really want, is to know what 9 feels like. And I think that’s possible. More importantly I think it’s largely in my own hands. My own thoughts and my own actions can get me to 9. That’s a powerful realisation. Sure, outside forces can affect my mood. If my cat gets run over by a car, I won’t be hitting 7 any time soon. But so many of us dwell in the doldrums even when our cat is sitting curled up in front of the fire.

When I’m trying to improve my well-being score I never think about:

-        the political or economic climate

-        the weather

-        how much money I have

-        how Manchester United got on in their last game

-        social media influencers

-        social media likes

But I do think about:

-        attending the gym consistently

-        meditating daily

-        journalling daily

-        daily walks

-        eating healthily

-        avoiding the media (social or otherwise)

Why not aim for 10 you might ask. Something tells me I’d have to meditate in the woods for a decade to hit 10. Or maybe 10 is unattainable. Surely, it’s unattainable in this beautiful, disfigured world of ours. Like many of the best things in life maybe 10 is only available to the dead.