I Am Introvert
Being an introvert is a wonderful thing. It’s truly beautiful. I know that now. But it’s only a wonderful thing if you embrace introversion, only if you be introvert.
The usual narrative, or at least the narrative that played in my mind, is that introversion is weak and pathetic. Introversion is something you need to be rid of, something to be cast aside, I thought. Shed yourself of your sensitive, solitariness nature. I waited to grow out of it, but I never truly did. And for that I am now thankful, for in life it seems that one is happier if they live as they are.
I have long suspected that I am an introvert. Quite frankly I found it rather an embarrassing thing to admit. I would never have declared myself introvert. Well in fact being introvert I never actually declare anything, that’s far too bold. I should say that I would never have suggested I was introvert. And I always thought, well if I am introvert how does it help to actually know this, how would having the introvert label benefit me. Recently I decided to look up the traits on an introvert and lo and behold I tick every box. Every single one. Normally I’m a maybe, possibly, sometimes kind of person. The only time I became definitive was when checking the traits of the introvert.
Should I come out to my parents I wonder. Son, we always suspected as much, I imagine they would respond.
The traits can be found here https://www.webmd.com/balance/introvert-personality-overview
I am an emphatic yes for each and every one. The lack of ambiguity is emboldening.
One of the problems that introverts have is that the modern world is not really set up for them to thrive. Maybe the world was never set up for them to thrive. Maybe in actual fact the very modern world is the ideal environment for introverts. For instance, I have certainly been happier since I started working from home.
The world says be bold, be brash, be decisive, make quick decisions. Listen to the tumbleweed on a work call when you are asked your opinion on a particular topic, and you ask if you can take it away and have some time to think about it. Imagine going to a job interview and replying ‘no’ when asked if you are good at working in groups. No, I’m actually terrible in groups if the truth be told. I kind of clam up and my thought processes dry up and I end up just getting in the way. Worse than that, I suck all the energy out of the rest of the group with my sarcastic tone, my unenthusiastic body language and my unwelcome ‘doses of reality’. Why do you ask? Does the role require group work?
Nowadays I embrace my introversion. Today I went for a walk in the woods whilst listening to a language podcast on my headphones. I came home and spent some time writing down all the blog ideas that came to me whilst on my walk. Yes, my creativity that previously knew only bounds is unleashed when I live as an introvert. Then I had a quiet breakfast. Then lay on my sofa reading a book, had a nap, went to the gym, did some more writing, meditated, and chilled. What a wonderful day.
A paradoxical side-effect of embracing my true introvert self is that I am now more comfortable in group settings, I speak more eloquently, I’m more decisive.