Comfort is Kryptonite
The more I engage in self-improvement the more I see it as nothing more than repeated voluntary suffering, discomfort, endurance, and perseverance. That’s all there is to it. There is no end goal. To some degree I don’t even care what the discomfort is. Cold shower? Yeah, they are pretty horrible, I’m up for it. Sit staring at a blank wall? Yeah, that feels weirdly uncomfortable, count me in.
My favourite embodiment of this is David Goggins. I always admired David Goggins for his hard work, endurance, and transformation, but I was never particularly inspired by him because I never saw the end goal. I basically never saw the point of it. There never seemed to be any fun, or celebratory Champagne, or talk of wealth and big houses and relaxing on a paradise island. All I saw was running, stretching and pull-ups on repeat. And maybe that’s all there is.
The problem most of us have is we fixate on a fictitious end goal. Some would describe this as being outcome oriented. But the end goal is not the end goal it’s the start, it’s the catalyst. Repeated and regular discomfort is the goal.
For example, the end goal might be to be a millionaire and you are doing all the necessary hard work and learning required to become a millionaire. If you then win the lottery or inherit millions what then? You’ve achieved your goal. Do you just take things easy, become soft, lose your discipline?
Most end goals look like comfort. And comfort weakens us. Comfort is our Kryptonite. End goals tend to look like luxury travel and huge houses and relaxing by a pool and alcohol. Many people say that you should fixate on your end goal as a form of motivation. I’ve seen people with pictures of their aspirations pinned up in their work cubicle, be that a car or a house or a holiday destination. And some of those people seem to get valuable, prolonged motivation by the visualisation of the end goal. But for others I think it’s counterproductive. We are told that visualising something has the same physiological impact as actually experiencing it. Firstly, I doubt this is entirely true. Sure, when I envisage myself with a beautiful house or on an exotic holiday, I get some of the feelgood factor associated with them, but I don’t get any of the realism. I don’t get the housework or the mosquitoes. All reality has an element of mundanity about it. The expression I like to use is, we don’t take a shit in our dreams. Secondly, the feelings we tend to get when we picture the end goal are very often soft, comforting feelings (think of beautiful sunsets and waiters bringing your next cocktail), and soft, comforting feelings are not what you need to get to your goal. Thirdly, the end goal can become secondary to the dopamine spike that comes when dreaming about the end goal. The dreaming itself becomes the goal.
For me the ideal mindset for self-improvement is where you simply enjoy the grind and it’s a mindset that develops the more that you grind. I get into a mindset where I simultaneously dislike and like doing the task. I’m getting this weird combination of discomfort and buzz and together they act as a kind of signpost that I’m going the right way.