How far I’ve come

Because the process of self-development is slow and because we continually adapt to our change, we often don’t realise that we are developing at all. The new you feels like the real you and the old you is forgotten.

It’s only when I look back on a recent event and realise that I behaved in a manner that would have been beyond me six months or a year ago that I recognise the progress I have made.

None of my progress has been external so it is very hard to measure. Maybe that is why we like external markers so much, because they act as a more evidential scoreboard. Wealth serves as the simplest and most obvious measure of progress, and on that score it’s true that I have made no progress at all.

My confidence in work and social environments has greatly improved. Previously I used to exist passively in these settings, whereas now I’m fully engaged and a much more active participant.

My sense of self has clarified. It is not until you have a clear sense of self that you understand the boundaries that you are not prepared for yourself or others to compromise. As my confidence and sense of self have developed, the focus of my ambition has become more laser-like. In other words I don’t just want to be successful in some non-specific way, I now have a clear image of what ‘success’ means to me.

My general mood is much improved. I feel positive, confident, a little buzzy almost every day. I feel calm. I used to journal my well-being score every day; a number out of ten to indicate how I was feeling. If I was 6.5/10 last year, this year I’m 7.5/10.